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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26334409">Cringe and fail memories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yearnmien/pseuds/Yearnmien'>Yearnmien</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Infinity Train (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Gen, I wrote this in one sitting bear with me, I'm lgbt and have bad taste I see a man with issues and go 'awooooga', M/M, Other, Reader is selective mute in the way they won't talk with someone till they're comfy, SLIGHTLY AU maybe?????? No mention of Tuba's fate but maybe, grace hazel n tuba are just mentioned but yknow, idk - Freeform, ignore the formatting its late im tired and also lazy &lt;3, please dont cancel me for this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:35:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26334409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yearnmien/pseuds/Yearnmien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you want to forget things but can't.</p><p>Aka Simon edgy momense</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Simon Laurent/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cringe and fail memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Simon could still remember the first time he ever met you. You were quiet and didn’t speak much at first, yet you still showed some level of personality in other ways. You usually had a smile on your face and walked with a small skip in your step. You would occasionally try and talk to him through sign language but..he never was able to understand. </p><p>At first he didn’t really think much of it, sure it could be irritating at times but..he usually forgot about it pretty quickly. It wasn’t like he had much choice as far as just finding someone else who spoke anyway. Sure, he had Grace but..sometimes just having two people in a friend group of sorts gets old. That and you just fascinated him for some odd reason.</p><p>The first time you ever spoke to him he remembered being shocked. Your voice sounded soft, occasionally you’d stumble over your words but in general it was just..lovely. At first you would only speak up now and then but over time you got more comfortable, having long winded conversations with ease. You still stuttered and stumbled here and there but it’d grown on him, it would be weird to hear you talk without them.</p><p>He’d heard you talk to Grace distantly and quietly before then -which he was admittedly a little jealous of- but it was always too hard to really get a good grip on what you sounded like. Not to mention he just..felt this weird sort of warmth whenever you’d talk to him. Your happiness was contagious, whenever you’d smile he’d follow behind that. By that point he’d completely forgotten any sort of jealousy or irritation he had at your complex relationship with speech.</p><p>Simon could also remember every little moment that you’d spent together. He could vividly remember one night in particular. You’d woken him up -much to his complaint- with a grin on your face, telling him to get up and follow you. He groaned before pushing himself off the ground, rubbing at his eyes as he followed you off.</p><p>It seemed like you’d been walking for way too long now, making him increasingly suspicious but..also increasingly curious. He’d already stopped and asked what you were doing and where you were taking him too many times to care now, just silently following in your footsteps. </p><p> </p><p>“C’mon, it’s just up ahead,” you’d urged, your smile being evident in the little lilts and tone of your voice.</p><p>Eventually you’d stopped at a seemingly random spot, looking back to him silently. There was a short pause before he’d spoken up.</p><p>“Soo..did you drag me out here on a midnight walk for nothing or am I supposed to see something?” </p><p>You’d just snickered at his response, grabbing one of his hands before pointing upwards. It was late and it showed, the stars were all evident in the sky, clear of any sort of clouds or anything else to really obscure them. It really was beautiful, even in his dead-tired state he could admit that. For a good few moments you both stood there in silence.</p><p>Eventually he looked back down to your hands that were still intertwined, ignoring the warmth creeping onto his face he looked back at you. You were still staring up at the sky, the little glints of lights reflecting in your eyes. You looked so content, like there wasn’t a worry on your mind and everything was perfectly fine. You were just...at peace despite the fact that this was in no way a normal life.</p><p>“How..How’d you find this place?” </p><p>You looked back at him finally, smile still playing on your lips, “Sometimes I can’t sleep so I just go exploring.”</p><p>“Y- Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? If something happens to you, there’s nothing anyone can do to help you!” He’d pointed out, worry evident in his tone, even if just the smallest bit.</p><p>You’d flinched a bit at his sudden raise in tone, looking away as your smile faded. There were a few moments of silence, neither of you really knowing what to say after that. Eventually, he sighed lightly and spoke.</p><p>“Look, you can keep doing this IF you come wake me up whenever you want to. That way you get to do your thing, I get to make sure you don’t end up dead in a ditch,” Simon offered.</p><p>You’d looked back to him once more, “Well, seems like two wins for me then, huh?” </p><p>He couldn’t help but snicker at that, “Mhm, I’m really spoiling you, you know?”</p><p>For the rest of the night you two talked under the stars, the subject didn’t really seem to matter as long as you were both saying something. Eventually you both ended up passed out on the floor, your face in the crook of his neck while he had an arm around you. Grace, Tuba and Hazel had been terrified to see you both suddenly missing but..when they eventually stumbled upon you two they let you rest a little while longer. As payment for the scare you did both get a fair bit of teasing for the next good while, much to Simon’s chagrin.</p><p>He could remember the first time he ever saw you cry. Somehow someway you’d both ended up split up and trapped. He was definitely panicked but was trying his best to stay calm. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but when he’d gone to say something to you only to see the state you were in, it was a lot better.</p><p>You looked like you could barely breathe, your hands tangled in your hair and balled up into fists, tugging every now and then. You were just curled up on the floor, none of that positivity there, it was..painfully out of place to him. For a few moments he just stood there, staring at you silently while debating what to do. He was at a loss, he’d never seen you like this and he didn’t know what to do about it.</p><p>Eventually, he took a little breath and walked over to you, saying your name in the gentlest tone he could at that time. You didn’t respond, simply just laid there in silence, it was breaking him. He swallowed before sitting down next to you, seeing just how much of a wreck you were closer up. He’d reached a hand out, hesitating for a moment before setting it on your arm gently.</p><p>While you didn’t say anything, he took your not-moving or shoving him away as some sort of allowance. He’d gently rubbed your arm, tracing little lines and numbers here and there. He had..little to no idea about how to comfort someone, so this was all just going off of what he’d seen you do. He just kinda hoped for the best, at this point, you seemed like you were at your lowest so he probably couldn’t make it worse..</p><p>	Right?</p><p>	You’d eventually made a move, sitting up quickly, him drawing his hand away just as fast in a bit of fear. Where he’d expected you to yell at him or maybe even try and hit him, you’d just..hugged him. You’d wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close, hiding your face in the cloth of his sweatshirt. He could feel your shaking and the wetness of your tears, he simply just sat there for a few moments in silence, not making a move.</p><p>	Eventually he wrapped his arms around you too with a small, slightly shaky sigh. Apparently, your happiness wasn’t the only contagious emotion you had. He stayed quiet for the most part, save for the occasional whisper of ‘you’re ok’ or ‘everything’s gonna be fine’ now and then. He wasn’t sure if he believed it himself but..it seemed like you needed to hear it, he was fine with lying to you if it made you feel better.</p><p>	Simon also remembered when you disappeared. You’d gotten separated once more, except..this time they couldn’t find you and you never showed up again. There were so many emotions running through him when you’d first vanished. He was scared, upset, and sad. He worried if you were ok, he was pissed that you’d just abandoned them, and he was beyond saddened you’d abandoned him. </p><p>	There was nothing that could be done though, every search ended up with nothing except more questions and concerns. Eventually they had just..given up, completely. You were little more than a ghost, a memory that no longer existed, one that Simon tried to forget. Granted, he never could, you lived in his head rent free whether he liked it or not.</p><p>	While you definitely weren’t the sole cause of his spiral into madness, the fact that he had no closure on what’d happened to you haunted him and only worsened things. Eventually he’d had a break from mourning over you, he was too focused on heightening his number to think about you by then. He felt great, he’d finally forgotten you and he was finally highest. It seemed like everything was going perfectly for him now! </p><p>	That was of course until things fell apart, more so at the very least. Here he was, laying on a bridge staring up at the sky. He’d almost fallen off before Grace had saved him, her answer to his question of why stinging. Eventually, he sat up quickly, making his way to kick her off-</p><p> </p><p>	“Simon!” That voice was too familiar, eerily and painfully familiar.</p><p>He didn’t want to look at the source of it. He didn’t want to finally remember everything fully. He didn’t want to see that concern and fear and your voice. He didn’t want you to see him like this.</p><p>Hesitantly he finally looked in your direction, you looked about the same, maybe a bit more mature but..not much had changed. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you now, that was one of the worst parts of it. Everything sank in just a little further, like a dagger that had been stabbed into him and had been shoved in further. All those emotions came rushing back, you were alive, you were here.</p><p>There were a few more beats of silence as Grace and the rest of The Apex stared at you two, watching and waiting for what was going to happen next. Finally, he stood up and started walking towards you. You couldn’t help the fear that immediately took over you, making you take a few steps back. Eventually though you had nowhere else to run, you simply just had to wait and hope for the best.</p><p>He stopped in front of you, staring down at you wordlessly. There were so many things he wanted to ask, wanted to tell you and say, yet he was still speechless. He couldn’t even begin to decipher his current emotions but..the look of fear in your eyes definitely wasn’t what he wanted. Even as it felt like he was being crushed mentally. </p><p>In what felt like seconds, he was holding you again, almost verbatim to when you’d first cried in front of him. You’d stood there for a short second before sighing softly, wrapping your own arms around him. He couldn’t say anything still, all that he knew was that he wanted to hold you close, if only just a little longer.</p>
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